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My husband, Wayne and I were very close friends from our youth. My mother-in-law often described us as “two peas in a pod.” His sudden death of a heart attack devastated me. I was in shock for quite a while. Without him I felt like an amputee. This happened in December on our daughter’s birthday. Wayne was 56 years old.
 
One day, shortly after his death, I “heard” in my head that in five years I would join Wayne. Immediately, I believed this was a promise from God. In truth, I looked forward to the fulfillment of this promise every day, and wrote about it in my journal every night. I only had to get through five years and then I would see my sweetheart again!
 
In the years that followed, I was actively involved in starting up a vital community outreach through my church. My love for the Lord and dependency on Him continued to grow. All the while, I had great comfort from my “secret hope,” that I never shared with anyone.
 
Then about four and a half years after Wayne’s death, there were physical symptoms that something was very wrong. I ignored them for another seven weeks. Finally in August, I went to see a gastroenterologist who scheduled me for an immediate colonoscopy. After the procedure, the doctor did not even wait for the biopsy results to diagnose that I had a malignant tumor and required surgery right away.
 
Convinced that my Cancer was the way God would take me home, I was very much at ease. The doctor seemed taken aback by my calm response. He told me that if I did not have the surgery immediately, the surgeon he wanted to operate would be away on vacation for two weeks. That was fine with me. The flight to visit my daughter in Canada for my birthday was already booked, and I looked forward to spending a week with her and my son-in-law.
 
During this time, I had been participating in the Cleansing Stream program at my church. Just before my trip to Canada, I attended the last session, which was on deception and strongholds. Along with the handouts, part of the curriculum was a little book by Neil T. Anderson addressing various spiritual issues through prayer. That night, re-reading the materials, I noted that one of the times a person is most susceptible to being deceived is after a traumatic experience. I was praying each of the book’s prayers until I came to the ones addressing strongholds and deceptions. Although I did not believe that I was deceived or under any strongholds, I continued to pray for revelation and breakthrough in these areas, and then said, “Lord if I am deceived or captured by any strongholds or secret sin, please reveal them to me.” Instantly, God gave me the understanding that He never told me I would die in five years. I had assumed it was a special gift from Him because gave me such great comfort and peace. I had put strong faith in a lie, and it was killing me.
 
I was amazed and saddened that I had believed a lie for almost five years, and so humbled by the Lord’s patience, kindness, and love for me. He had given me so much grace. I immediately repented that I had never asked the Lord even one time if this was of Him, but that I had blindly put my faith in this lie. Again God was merciful to me, because at that very moment I “knew” that the progression of the Cancer in my body stopped.
 
The Lord gave me numerous scripture while I was recuperating from hip replacement surgery two years prior. Now, I memorized several of them and repeated them throughout the day stringing them into prayers, claiming God’s promises of hope, healing and protection. During the week I visited my daughter in Canada, I continued praying these scriptures daily as I walked through the foothills of the Rockies, speaking them into the air to strengthen my faith, and to let Satan and the entire heavenly host know that I was trusting God, and His promises to me. This was warfare.
 
At the end of September, I had the surgery for my 2nd stage colon cancer. The outcome was totally successful and I did not need chemo or radiation. Nine years ago, by His stripes, I was and am healed. I still claim that no weapon formed against me shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), that I am blessed and not cursed (Jeremiah17:7). I know that God has a good plan for my life full of hope for the future (Jeremiah 29:11). God is truly an amazingly God and a loving Father!
 
Lessons Learned:
The Bible describes faith as “the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.” (Heb 11:1). This hope is a gift from God, and with it God gives us the ability and responsibility to choose what we exercise our faith in. Faith is very powerful. Whether we put our faith in good or evil, the truth or a lie, the thing we strongly hope for, and believe in will eventually manifest itself.
 
My most serious mistake was assuming that this was a gift from God without actually praying about it and asking Him to reveal the truth about what I believed to be true (Proverbs 3:5 ). My second critical mistake was not sharing this with at least one or two mature Christians who might have advised me to seek God if this was truly of Him or not (Proverbs 15:22).